I SAY "EXCELLENT" WAY TOO MUCH.

Ain't that the truth.

As long as I'm not saying "awesome" though, I think I'll do all right.


I saw a film earlier. It was intended for children, and was in 3D. But I didn't complain because there are lots of children in Africa and elsewhere who never get to see such films. I found it quite entertaining, after I got over the shock of how dizzy one feels after removing the glasses and trying to go to the bathroom mid-film.

I've seen a 3D movie before, but only ones about animals. And they were definitely not as fast paced. A 3D movie about animals is "mesmerizing", whereas a 3D film intended for the brains of children is more like being pelted with shrapnel from a battlefield. With jokes thrown in. And a healthy dose of heartwarming goodness?

Whatever. I got a pretzel. The sauce that came with it was disgusting.

I can't wait to get back to Halifax. Should be something exciting going on there.
I can't believe I found that much to write about....

the Mad Skrill

Yes. I am rolling in it.
And it's a very good thing to have.

I also have supper. Which is excellent.
And I am listening to the Smiths. Which is also excellent, although I doubt Morrissey would approve of my meal. Which is comprised primarily of pork.

THE DEVIL WILL FIND WORK FOR IDLE HANDS TO DO.

And did she ever. I think I had the idlest hands that ever existed. But now I feel as though I've accomplished something. So that makes me glad.

Tonight, I will make a journey to New Glasgow. I'm not sure what for, but I am meeting up with my dear friend Roger, and we will go gallivanting. Maybe I'll buy socks. Or a flea collar for Beast. And maybe the flea bath too. Who knows. I just can't have my cat having fleas.

Last night, I went to the Pub, with a plastered Ashleigh in tow. (For old times sake??) The Pub is the only place to go in Antigonish. Seriously. I have to say, it was not my scene. I was accosted for most of the evening by an old man who was keen on expressing to me his love of "women's sports". I think, based on my haircut, he assumed that I was also into "women's sports". I, sadly, am not.

In fact, I could care less. I think sports are for everyone. Everyone except me. And eventually it'll get to a point where there won't be "women's sports" and "men's sports". But I couldn't get into that, because he was old, and surely it would explode his drunken head.

I also paid a visit to the new pizza place in Antigonish. Kenny's. After hearing about Kenny from several different people, without making the connection that he was in fact a restaurant, and not an actual person, I sampled his wares. Needless to say, he did not live up to the hype.

And the lady behind the cash register wasn't so much pleased when I addressed her as Kenny.

But it is no matter. I'm going to watch TV. Not because I want to, but because I've already done everything else there is to do in this house. And the piano has too many dead keys to play anything except Tears for Fears. And I think I'll not do that.

Oh my.

Just realized my last blog consisted entirely of a half nekkid Morrissey video, and was entitled "STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID". I think I've lost a few IQ points. Probably all the Drice.

I'm in Antigonish. Avoiding my life. It's awesome.
And necessary. But fer dang sure, it hurts.

After all, the longer you stay away from anything that means something to you, the less often it happens. And the safer you are.

You also become miserable and somewhat like a robot. But that is beside the point.

I don't know why I do anything. So I'm not really that surprised when nobody cares.

Dang skippy.
So far today, I have made 120$. It's all right.
If money could buy happiness, then I wouldn't be so shitty.

I'm going to go outside now. Because although money cannot buy happiness, it can buy cigarettes. And a walk to the store is something I wouldn't say no to.

STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID

Last Night

was ridiculous.

I became drunker than what is socially acceptable. And I had an excellent time.

Tonight, we have crafted an excellent fire pit in our backyard with the advice of the fire chief that spawned Mogli. For the first time in a while, we are certain we are not breaking the law.

BREAKING THE LAW, BREAKING THE LAW.

living above the law?

And we have marshmallows. And a tent set up outside. And copious amounts of whiskey. I swore on New Years with Sarah that there would be (and I quote) "no more whiskey, no more wine". And to this day I have kept my word. But I think that I may have to sample Katie Chisholm's Fireball. For old time's sake....

I fell asleep at Reflections earlier this week. It was probably the shittiest. I don't know why I was so tired, or so cold. But I was, and ended up just passing right out. And then got kicked out for sleeping, despite the fact I maintained that I was sober. Combined with the fact that I also had sideburns and caterpillar eyebrows and a fuckin' bro-hawk, I was quite embarrassed. Being mocked by a bro on a stupid-ass power trip while dressed as one was a humbling experience....

I hate bouncers. They should all just go right to hell. And who is in charge of hiring the bouncers for Reflections?

Eugh.

I Slept for 12 Hours.

And I woke up and I don't feel half as decent as I did when I went to sleep.

The fools outside are once again screaming "songs" from their big, bougy yard. I wonder how long they'll do that before they whip out their giant inflatable water slide?

I need to go get a job. And like, do something. Because I am just too bored these days. I have lost all traces of inspiration, I don't feel like tattooing anything. So I think it is necessary to go and do something that I hate for a while, and then maybe I'll feel good about going back to something I love. One can only hope.

APPOLONIAAAAA!!!!!

I'm stupid. And I don't know why.

I'm listening to stupid Prince songs. You know, from Purple Rain. That shit is wicked, I don't care what anyone says. Prince is an excellent musician. And an excellent role model. For people like me who are too weird to say what's necessary, and maybe have too much on their plate and are a little short and just want to wear a fancy jacket and boots. And maybe tour around on a motorcycle and trick pretty ladies into jumping into lakes for no reason....

THAT AIN'T LAKE MINNETONKA!

(Oh, Prince, you sly coot, you.)

I am uncertain what to do at this point. All signs point to "do something!", but I think, as per usual, I will find this challenging. However, the worst that can happen can't be any worse than what already is. So it can't hurt.

Lucy is finished downloading! I shall go now and watch it, and then, hopefully retire to my quarters for another sticky boring night of sleeping alone with The Empire Strikes Back and Captain Jack Sparrow.....

Beastsong

Beast is at it again. Singing away.
I think she needs to do a split with Bitchez Delicious.
Speaking of, they are the greatest band in the world, and they are probably going to actually do something soon. I am excited.

I'ma buy they record. When it come out.

Dave and Katie went to Tim Hortons, but when they return, we are going to watch I LOVE LUCY again. And I am very pleased.

I recently got a cell phone, and I am uncharacteristically excited about technology. It's probably because I have nothing else to be that excited about.

Except Bitchez Delicious. And they record. When it come out.

I have to go do the stupid study at Dalhousie today. And get drunk and smoke the old tobacky with an English fellow named Milad who knows everyone I know, but whom I had not met until the survey. How about that...

John has appeared on the threshold, so I will talk to him now instead of talking to the Internet.

G'on git.

Lucy Lucy Lucy

Dave downloaded a shit ton of I Love Lucy. And I am stoked, because I love Lucy.
And I love I Love Lucy.

Haha.

Sam made alfredo earlier, and I was glad because he gave me some of it. And he left a hilarious note for Beer Slaw in which he describes Beer Slaw as a "sex rocket". It makes me laugh every time I see it...

Liz came to visit again today, and that is very good, because she hadn't been visiting us since she moved to the Tool Shed. Hopefully, Sam #1 will come visit soon, once he's back from wherever he went on a train -- then Moon Unit will be together once more, in their rightful place, on the couch at the G.

My "sweet banjo skills" are still not as sweet as I'd like. Beer Slaw is supposed to remedy this soon. I can only hope that by writing this here, I will somehow remember to pester him when he comes back home.

Joanne and John, the crazy travelers have appeared in a blog on the Interweb. They eloped to PEI, and we hadn't heard from them since they left, so it's good to know they're not dead. And Joanne's banjo is still in one piece....

There is house drama, but I think it's entirely possible for me to stay out of it, if I just keep to my room. I've almost run out of reading material, however. Perhaps I'll find some sort of occupation outside of the house, and I'll be able to avoid said drama. One can only hope.

I have stuff to draw, which I should do soon. I think I have artist's block. I almost got out of it, but then events occurred, which caused me to lose inspiration once more. Goddamn.

I think it's time for me to go outside. And maybe water Katie's plants or something. It just rained, but it's nice to be useful sometimes. Even if it's just feeling useful, and not actually being it.

Today Is the Zombie Walk.

And I have spent the better half of my morning preparing disgusting wounds. I am covered in liquid latex, stink like a rotting fish, and both my legs are asleep.

And nobody has shown up at my door in need of my services.

Well, shit.

What am I gonna do now?

I work best whilst under pressure, and currently, there is no pressure, and no work, really.
I must say, this is an unfortunate circumstance.

Even Dave doesn't want to go. So it's just me.
Goddamn.

I guess I will be a lone zombie today.
It's just me and the persistent desire for brains.

the question is....

should i be waiting?

are these things all niceties and refined methods of smoothing things over?
should i take what i hear at face value, or stew in question of reality?

am i stupid for letting others dictate what exactly constitutes my experience?
am i at a disadvantage for even considering this?

a cat is licking my beer.

i am torn between hope and settling for what my brain tells me is truth.
and i am also drunk and full up of poetic uselessness.

and with the rain, the heart wave broke.

someone i know mis-typed heat wave. and put heart wave instead. i thought it was interesting, to say the least.

i'm drinking a tankard of coffee, and mulling over my life. and i must say, it's all right.

i feel like going fishing. i don't even like to actually catch the fish... but it's fun to go sit near a lake and feel like you're doing something. sometimes with a friend who you can talk to, but sometimes not.

sometimes the best friend to talk to is yourself. at least, if you're me. i think i spend so much time talking to other people about nothing, that i forget to talk to myself about something. or anything.

i don't know what "monetize" means.

What In The Fuck

It's morning after shit storm on this island.
If I wasn't so dang irresponsible, perhaps I wouldn't have lost the keys to the lighthouse.
And I wouldn't have had to sleep outside last night on the rocks, surrounded by stupid jaguars.

The options are: a) find the keys.
b) leave the island.
or c) go back to Cafe Dave where I'd normally be, instead of here.

I'mmmm Meeeellllttttinngggggg!

Or close to it. It's so hot.

Me and Dave went to Propeller and got so much BEERZ.
And I didn't visit Ryley, but I don't know why, because I wanted to and then I didn't.
I think I am just a weird person. I should probably work on that.

I got a midnight visit last night from two other weirdoes that I know who were on acid. And a call from Sarah. Much to my delight.

I can't get stupid Moonlight Desires out of my head. It's probably the stupidest thing to happen to me since I said "STUPIDEST" in a sentence. Which was just now. In case you didn't realize.

Well, I officially have a project to work on, so maybe I should be doing that now instead of being on here. And drinking IPA out of a McDonald's cup because Dave got me a drink at McDonald's.

This is the worst blog ever.